Caduceus Astrology

ASTROLOGICAL LIGHTBULB JOKES

How many Arians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

How many Taureans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a ten-course meal and some great sex.

How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. Plus a mobile phone, an internet link and a copy of the ‘Bluffer’s Guide to hanging Light bulbs’

How many Cancerians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?

Leo’s don’t change light bulbs, although sometimes their agents call a Virgo to do it for them while they’re out.

How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?

Virgos don’t have time to change their own light bulbs; they’re too busy changing them for everyone else.

How many Librans does it take to change a light bulb?

Er, two… or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they’d rather sit in the dark.

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?

How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Capricorns can’t afford new light bulbs – unless they’re a legitimate business expense.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so…

How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb? 

What light bulb?

• Chaos Astrology - funny, tongue-in-cheek 'astrology' site. Thanks to Jess for suggesting this one!